Lockdown Diary: Pain of Uncertainty
Today is the 85th day of lockdown. In the recent report, there are over 23,000 COVID-19 positive cases in the Philippines, more than a thousand deaths and millions of Filipinos are on the verge of losing their jobs.
I’m currently sitting on my couch, having my cup of tea, feeling anxious, and asking myself, ‘When will this end?’ It feels like I’m living in a bad dream and begging someone to wake me up.
To minimize the spread of the virus, we have to follow protocols like staying at home and observing health measures. Some of us are blessed to keep our jobs as we move the workforce at home, and some were left with no choice but to endure the struggle of not having a passive income while being isolated.
I know we are all eager to go back to our daily grind, live our normal lives, pursue our dreams, and make great memories with our families and friends. This global crisis and public health emergency have caused us so much, not only to the economy and to the lives of those who caught the virus but also to us individuals who are staying at home trying to survive each day and looking for ways to counter the isolation. We had to delay our plans, move our timelines, and make safety as our top priority. It’s a traumatic event that we all want to get through.
Businesses are closing, employees are losing their jobs, we are getting anxious and depressed, and people are out on the street begging for help.
Imagine how you can survive the anxiety of the possibility to catch a virus with an empty stomach.
It’s overwhelming. It’s painful to process. It’s a nightmare. It feels like the world has stopped for a moment without the assurance of when it will get back to normal. It’s the uncertainty that’s killing us.
We’re more than halfway this year, but our fight to this faceless enemy continues. It no longer matters if we fulfill our goals, we merely just want to survive each day as healthy individuals with food on our tables. It’s about time to stop romanticizing Filipino resiliency. It won’t fill our hungry stomach or give us jobs and make a living for our families. Filipinos need real help to survive this pandemic.
In a decade, I’ll go back to this confession with high hopes for the future and the next generation.